Why joy feels unsafe
How to create a safe space for joy to return
This blog post holds a special place in my heart because the journey of finding my own personal joy has often felt like a long and arduous one.
For many of us, we go through chapters of healing and darkness where joy can feel distant, unfamiliar, or completely out of reach. Seasons of life where we move through grief, uncertainty, or emotional heaviness, quietly wondering if we will ever find our way back to ourselves, or experience the lightness of true joy again.
Joy is easy to seek and crave. Often we find ourselves reaching for its fleeting presence in what we can consume - an impulse purchase, our favourite meal or exciting adventures. Only to find once its all over that the joy was fleeting. We know not every moment in life will feel filled with joy but still wonder if it was meant to be so hard to grasp hold of.
I wonder if there is something to be said in rather than seeking joy, our aim should be to become rooted in it. To feel safe enough to slow down and discover the capacity we have to find joy in our small everyday moments.
Joy is not the absence of pain, but the presence of aliveness
I think we often expect joy to exist singularly, that in any given moment, we’ll find ourselves filled to the brim with a joy so loud and overwhelming that it drowns out every other emotion. We often forget that polarity is such a fundamental part of the human experience.
To truly know joy, we must also know pain and sorrow. Much like yin and yang, or night and day, one cannot exist without the other. If one were removed, the other would almost cease to exist too, as though we would no longer be able to recognize joy for what it is, or understand how special it can be.
Often, joy asks us to take a step back and hold two emotions at once: to feel joy deeply and fully because we have truly known the absence of it. I wonder if the key to inviting more joy into our everyday lives isn’t about seeking more of it outside ourselves, but instead about rooting into exactly where we are in any given moment, allowing life to simply be as it is, and noticing that small glimmers of joy may still be present.
Maybe it’s the sunshine on our face, the subtle shift in the breeze, or a quiet moment to simply be with ourselves.
Your capacity for joy can return slowly, gently & fully
So to anyone moving through a chapter of life where joy feels fleeting or just out of reach, I hope you know that it always has a way of returning.
Maybe, rather than constantly seeking it out, it’s time to pause and soften into the present moment. That doesn’t always mean joy will arrive immediately. Sometimes, simply finding presence and acceptance creates enough safety for joy to quietly make its way back in.
And slowly, as we begin to root ourselves in where we are right now, joy can start to return to our lives, gently at first, then more fully with time.
Gentle Ways to Invite More Joy In
Joy doesn’t always arrive in grand, life-changing moments. More often, it’s something we quietly cultivate through the way we move through our days. Sometimes, inviting more joy in can look like creating small rituals that help us reconnect with ourselves and the present moment.
Maybe it’s opening your curtains first thing in the morning and letting the sunlight touch your face for a few extra seconds. Maybe it’s making your morning coffee or tea slowly, without rushing, and truly savouring it. It could be taking a walk without your phone, listening to music that softens you, lighting a candle in the evening, or spending a few moments journaling before bed.
Joy can also live in the way we speak to ourselves, in choosing rest when we need it, nourishing our bodies with care, or allowing ourselves to do things simply because they make us feel alive. Dancing around the kitchen, buying yourself fresh flowers, watching the sky change colour at sunset, calling someone you love, or taking a deep breath of fresh air between busy moments.
These small rituals may seem insignificant, but over time they gently remind us that joy is still available to us, even in the quietest seasons of life.
A theme on Soul Shala: Rooted in Joy
It’s these quiet reflections that have shaped our offerings within Soul Shala this month. Guided by the theme Rooted in Joy, each class is an invitation to reconnect with yourself in gentle, nourishing ways, and to remember that joy can still exist within the smallest moments.
Through our Inner Child Healing & Joy Soul Session, we’ll reconnect with the softer, more playful parts of ourselves. Joyful Flow invites intuitive movement and embodied presence, while our Gratitude Meditation offers space to slow down and reconnect with the beauty already around us. We’ll also come together for a Live Collective Energy Healing, a space to release, receive, and feel supported within community.
Each offering has been lovingly created to help you root back into yourself, and into the quiet joy that can arrive in the smallest moments.